In My Own Time
by boose08
Summary: One disturbing act brought two people together. Can they save each other from themselves? A/H OOC. M for language, self-injury and later lemons. in and out of Bella's POV
1. Chapter 1

**Okay so this is my first story on my own, I'm co-writer for Beautiful Strangers with lewiecullen. I've been reading fanfics for ages and written a few but haven't posted and thought its about time a posted one :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the characters only the plot.**

_**Chapter 1.**_

Isabella Swan had a secret. A secret that she could easily hide behind fake smiles and laughs. A secret she could keep hidden under bracelets, watches and long sleeves. Winter was her favourite season for one reason; she could hide without fear of getting caught. The only good thing to come out of moving to Forks was the constant cloud and rain that kept the temperature cool even in the summer. She could live more comfortably in Forks than in Phoenix. Her arms could be hidden 7 days a week 365 days a year without suspicion.

Bella didn't expect her new friends to be so caring though. She never expected her secret to be revealed, especially when she had worked so hard to keep it hidden. But that's what happens when you're careless. Bella and her two best friends, Alice and Rosalie had been sitting outside in the one in a million sunny days in Forks. Always prepared, Bella had her arm covered in bracelets but even that wasn't enough.

Always observant, Alice just happened to look at Bella's arm the same time that Bella had lifted it to brush hair away from her face. The movement had caused the bracelets to fall down her arm revealing a fresh lot of deep cuts on Bella's wrist. Alice had gasped and grabbed Bella's arm pulling in towards her.

Knowing she wouldn't be able to lie herself out of this one Bella reluctantly told Alice and Rosalie the truth. She told them why she did it, when she started and how often. The two girls who were shocked at first quickly shook it off and dived straight into action. They were going to help Bella stop.

And they did. At least they did 2 months ago. But self-injurers are smart, once they see a loved ones reaction they will do anything they can to keep it hidden. Even if it means lying, and lying is definitely something Isabella Swan was now exceptionally well at. This is where the story starts.

_**BPOV**_

3 more weeks and I'm finally done with this shit. Yay! I can practically here the hallelujah chorus. Except at the moment it's getting drowned out by the stupid Principle's boring speech. Why do they even have these stupid school assemblies anyway? No one listens and I'm pretty sure no one cares.

10 more minutes and I can get out of here. 10 more minutes until I can go home, lock myself in my room and disappoint everyone around me. I know what I do to myself is bad but fuck they don't understand what I feel. The constant struggle to actually get up and live my pathetic life after my traumatic one.

It's how I deal and I'm positive it's currently keeping me alive. But no Alice and Rose just had to be all saintly and come to my rescue. If I wanted help I would have asked for it instead of have it forcefully thrown at me.

I think I've got everyone pretty much fooled again though. Alice and Rose have finally stopped taking it in turns to watch me. God, I felt like a fucking mental patient. Practically never had a moment to myself because I was "too dangerous" for myself.

_Rinnngggggggg_

It's about time. Now I just have to make it out of here before Alice or Rose sees me. Really need to dodge that bullet before it happens. Especially since they both ditched me tonight. Tonight was suppose to be a girls night out to "celebrate" 2 months of being cut free, except Alice ditched for her pansy ass boyfriend and Rose decided she just wanted to stay in.

Soon as that happened the razor came out to meet my skin again. The relief felt amazing, I know it was bad but I went 2 months without it and they both couldn't even celebrate with me. Although the fight between Alice and Rose had been pretty amusing, I was now stuck in the middle and that just sucks even more.

I reached my car with luck on my side until I opened my door. Then I felt someone grab onto my arm to stop me.

"Bella, wait."

I winced and sighed. Alice.

_**No POV**_

As Bella was walking to her car, Alice spotted her and quickly raced after her. She needed to apologize for ditching her. But she hadn't seen Jasper in a while and thought they would understand. Alice finally caught up with Bella just as she was getting into her car. She reached out and grabbed Bella's left wrist tugging on it gently.

"Bella, wait." She said softly. Bella winced which didn't go unnoticed by Alice. Alice looked at her questionably but when Bella didn't look at her she sighed. Alice pulled Bella's arm closer and lifted up her sleeves. Bella didn't even bother fighting, she was caught, again.

Once Alice lifted her sleeve she gently turned Bella's arm over, palm facing up. Tears immediately came to Alice's eyes as she saw the angry red lines across Bella's wrist. She dropped Bella's arm and looked up at her searching Bella's face for an answer.

Finding her voice Alice finally spoke. "Why?"

Bella cringed, she hated that word. Every time someone said that word to her she felt like she was repeating herself. Why was that always the question people asked?

"It doesn't matter," Bella mumbled pulling down her sleeves and turning to get into her car but Alice stopped her again, grabbing higher up on her arm to avoid the cuts.

"Bull shit, Bella. Don't give me this 'it doesn't matter' shit because we both know that it does."

Bella turned to Alice and glared at her. She had ditched her why would anything she did matter to Alice anymore?

"Like you even care," Bella growled.

Hurt and shock immediately graced Alice's face at Bella's words. Hadn't she shown Bella how much she cared for her? She had spent weeks with Bella, helping her and this is how she repays her by forgetting all the progress they made and just hurt again.

"Bella," Alice's voiced croaked, "how can you even think for one second that I don't care about you? I care so much about you; I would do anything for you. It hurts me to see you in so much pain."

Bella sighed and turned again to get into her car. She really didn't want to deal with Alice right now. But Alice yet again stopped her; this time turning her around and closing her car door.

"You're coming with me," Alice stated firmly, all emotion from before gone.

"What? No, I'm going home."

"Get. In. My. Car." Alice said through gritted teeth.

Then it finally dawned on Bella. Alice had threatened that if she and Rosalie couldn't help her then they would take her to the rehab clinic attached to the hospital. The one place Bella did not want to go.

"No way, Alice. I'm not going, you can't make me."

"Bella, I have given you your chances. You need help, get in my car."

"I need you to leave me alone, let me be. I was doing fine before you came and tried to fix me," Bella spat back.

"If I leave you alone Bella you'll kill yourself!"

"I'm not trying to do that and you know that." Bella yelled.

"If you don't get in my car I'll call your dad."

The threat had Bella freeze; the one thing worse than going to the clinic would be her dad finding out. Bella glared at Alice before finally letting Alice push her towards her car. Alice opened the passenger side and pushed Bella in closing the door quickly. She had put the child lock on her door ever since she started to help Bella just in case she needed to take Bella to the clinic. That way Bella wouldn't be able to get out and run.

Alice then quickly got into the driver's side, turning the car on and pulling out of the car park. The drive to the hospital was quiet. Bella was too angry to speak and Alice didn't want to provoke her.

"How long do I have to stay there?" Bella finally broke the silence.

"For as long as it take to get better."

"But that could take years!" Bella said worriedly.

"I know that Bella."

It went quiet again and Bella processed this information.

"What are you going to tell Charlie?" Bella whispered.

"I'll tell him you're staying with me for a while so we can work on our college applications."

"That doesn't take years," Bella mumbled.

Alice sighed and took a deep breath to calm herself.

"If it's going to take years then I'll tell him the truth. I won't lie to him for you for years. I'm only going to cover for you until school is over. Then I'm telling him the truth. Does that sound fair to you?" Alice spat the last sentence.

"He'll know I'm not with you. He'll figure it out when he doesn't hear from me."

"You're allowed to use the phone Bella. You can still call him."

"Well I won't be calling you." Bella mumbled angrily.

"I wouldn't expect you to. I get that you're angry with me but I'm doing this for you. You can be angry with me for as long as you want but I know you need to be there."

Bella mumbled something incoherent and sat in silence the rest of the way. When they arrived at the hospital, Alice opened Bella's door and walked with her to the clinic. Bella turned to her and gave her a small smile that didn't reach her eyes.

"You don't have to stay. I won't run off."

"I'm here now. I'm staying."

Bella sighed and waited for a nurse to come and take her away. When a nurse finally came Bella willingly got up and followed the nurse. She now knew that to get out of this place she needed to do what they say.

Alice stayed seated once she had said good-bye to Bella and waited for the doctor to come out. When he did he walked straight to Alice and hugged her.

"What are you doing here sweetheart?" Dr Cullen asked concerned.

"I brought someone in."

"Bella?" Carlisle asked. Alice just nodded.

"What are you doing in the clinic anyway? Should you be in the main hospital?"

Carlisle smiled and motioned for her to sit. "I was just visiting."

Alice nodded. "How is he?"

"Why don't you go and see for yourself. He said he hasn't seen you in a while. He misses you."

"I know. I've been busy with Bella. Can I go see him now?"

"I think he would like that," Carlisle said as he grabbed her hand.

_**BPOV**_

While I was waiting for some nurse to come and take me away I had an idea. I didn't want to stay in this place, it smelt… well like a hospital. It was depressing, how could someone possibly get better in a place like this? I had a plan to get out of here. I'd only been here 10 minutes and already had the place figured out. To get out of here you needed to be better but for me that could take year. For me to get out of here I needed to fool everyone I was better.

Following the nurse down the corridor to my room felt like I was taking a walk of shame in a prison. Patients looked at me with sympathetic smiles, I couldn't help but cringe. I had to get out of here.

Too lost in my thoughts about escaping this place, I didn't notice the nurse stop and ran into her. She laughed and grabbed my arm to steady me. "This will be your room," she said with a smile. I tried to force a small smile but I knew it wouldn't be believable.

"Your scrubs are on the bed, you have 3 pairs, leave them on the floor when you want them washed," she continued, it started to sound more and more like a prison then a rehab clinic. "It's a pretty standard room, nothing sharp or dangerous."

"So in other words, boring," I said with a bored tone. The nurse laughed and smiled, "Yes, you could say that. There's also a time table on the back of your door. It has all your group and individual therapy sessions. Questions? I shook my head no.

"Well then I'll leave you to get settled," she said and smiled sweetly. I shuddered and walked into 'my' room. My plan had to start today, I couldn't stay here. It was a hole, a prison. How could anyone get better here? If anything I'd get worse.

**First chapter down, wooo! I'm not gonna spend too much time with Bella in rehab it'll be boring to write and all the action happens out of rehab :) and don't panic Edward is in the story, he'll make he debut in the next chapter. **

**REVIEW!!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**So Bella's in rehab…. Enter Edward!**

**Disclaimer: don't own twilight… duh **

_**No POV**_

A week had past since Bella had been admitted into the Forks Rehab Clinic. To say that Bella hated it was a big understatement; she absolutely despised it. The nurses were always too sickly sweet and cautious and the doctors treated every patient like they were completely mental and fragile.

Bella had finished her daily group therapy and escaped outside to soak up the rare sunrays. She was so lost in her thoughts of getting out of the clinic that she didn't hear the bronze-haired boy approach her from behind.

"You're a liar," the boy said startling her.

Bella jumped slightly and turned around, she sighed in relief when she saw it was only another patient. "What makes you think that?" she replied and turned back around facing the poor attempt at a garden.

The boy walked over to Bella and sat down beside her leaving little room in between them. "I don't think it, I know it. You've been here what? A week? You're already making progress. You know the doctors and nurses are actually questioning whether you should have been brought here to begin with."

"How do you know that?" Bella questioned.

"I have connections," the boy said with a smirk that made Bella's heart skip a beat. "I'm Edward by the way. Edward Cullen," Edward said sticking his hand out.

"Bella," Bella replied shaking Edward's hand, Edward nodded and let go of her hand.

"I know who you are. Unlike some people I actually listen in group," Edward teased.

"Group is boring, why would I want to listen to a bunch of people and their problems? I have my own to deal with."

"That's true, but group has gotten a lot more interesting lately," Edward mused.

Bella laughed and looked at him with a raised eyebrow, "How so?" she questioned amused. Edward just laughed and shook his head blushing a little.

"You're the cutter right?" Edward asked changing the subject.

Bella tugged at her long sleeves and nodded, "How do you know that when I haven't even spoken in group yet?"

"Like I said, I have connections," Edward answered with a wink. Bella rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to say something but Edward beat her to it. "And you wear long sleeves under your scrubs like you're hiding something,"

He looked down at his own sleeves and pulled them down a little further, "I guess that's one thing we have in common," he whispered. Bella looked at him with a sad smiled and sighed.

"The truth is always better then lying, Bella," Edward said seriously. Bella laughed and looked at him like he was crazy. "You're one to talk, you lie too."

"How do you know that? You don't know me," Edward said defensively.

Bella sighed and grabbed Edward's hand, she rested it in her lap and turned it over, palm facing up. She then started to trace the lines on Edward's wrist. "Your eyes," she said suddenly, confusing Edward. He was about to question her when she continued,

"You keep telling the nurses and doctors you're better, that this was just a phase and you won't do it again. Your eyes tell a different story, there's still pain in them. You still have the urges."

Edward stared at Bella in shock. She didn't even know him but she could read him like a book after a week. "And if I'd been here two years, I'd start lying too," Bella added, laughing a little.

Edward raised his eyebrow in confusion, "I thought you didn't listen in group."

"I don't, I have connections too," she said with a smirk.

_**BPOV**_

Another week of this bull shit and I swear I'll go completely insane. Group therapy would have to be the stupidest thing ever invented. It was a waste of time just like the individual therapy. There was no way I was telling complete strangers what happened to me. I haven't even told Alice or Rosalie all the details.

I needed to do this in my own time and I wasn't ready to get better, I wasn't ready to tell strangers I was continuously raped for 5 years by my grandfather and cousin like they were a tag team. I had escaped that life by coming here my freshman year. I would tell people when I was ready and right now I wasn't.

Lying in bed I thought about my conversation with Edward this afternoon. He was the first person, besides my nurse and therapist I had actually talked to. Something was bugging me though ever since he had introduced himself. Edward Cullen. Cullen… it sounded familiar, it was Alice's last name. It was probably just a coincidence, Alice didn't have a brother, and she always said she was an only child.

The next morning as I was walking to the cafeteria I bumped into Edward, pushing him to the floor and landing on top of him. He looked up and me and smiled, "Good morning Miss Swan," he said in a low seductive manner. I instantly blushed and got off him holding my hand out to help him up.

"So, are you free after breakfast?" he whispered in my ear once he was standing beside me. I had momentarily lost all incoherent thoughts and my voice so all I could do was nod my head yes. He smiled that heart-stopping smile; "Great meet me in the garden when you're done."

I could only nod again and smiled back at him. What the hell was happening to me? Whenever he was around me now he turned my brain into mush and made me blush. Ever since what happened to me I never reacted this way to a guy before. I had a feeling I'd be breaking my one rule for this guy.

***

After breakfast I went back out into the garden, unfortunately it was another overcast day in Forks. I smiled as I saw Edward sitting exactly where I had been sitting yesterday, waiting for me. I walked quietly over to him and sat down, he had his eyes closed and when I sat down a small peaceful smile graced his lips.

A few minutes later he finally opened his eyes and turned to look at me. "Hey," he whispered.

"Hey," I whispered back. I had no idea why we were whispering since we were the only people out here. Then Edward surprised me by grabbing my hand and intertwining out fingers.

"Edward?" I whispered looking down at out fingers.

"Mm?"

"How old are you?"

He chuckled softly and with his free hand reached up to brush a stray strand of hair away from my face, "Twenty-one."

My brain went into overdrive now. He was twenty-one, which means he was put in here when he was nineteen. So he would of finished high school and would have been a freshman at college. When he was put in here I would have been a sophomore, he was three years older than me. Cullen? He had to be Alice's older brother, they looked similar and went I came here he was a senior but I came here at the end of the school year so he would have graduated already.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when a pair of lips were suddenly pressed against my own. My eyes widened in shock, why was Edward kissing me? He pulled back after a second, blushing a little.

"Sorry, you were day dreaming. It was the only thing I thought would work," he said quietly.

"What were you thinking about? I swear I was yelling at you and you did nothing."

"Oh… umm… nothing," I said blushing; my lips still tingled from the kiss.

"Bella?" Edward whispered, leaning his head closer to mine.

"Yeah?" I mumbled nervously.

"Can I do that again?" his voice shook, he was obviously as nervous as I was. Again my brain failed me and I couldn't find my voice. I barely nodded before his lips came crashing down on mine.

This time the kiss wasn't short and soft, it passionate and demanding; something we both needed. But then something clicked in my mind; I had never let a guy get this close to me since I escaped from my past. I started to panic; images of my abusers suddenly came to mind and I roughly pushed Edward off me.

"No," I whimpered and moved away from him pulling my legs up to my chest and wrapping my arms around them and started to shake in fear.

"Bella? What is it? What's wrong?" he questioned me frantically.

_**No POV**_

"D-Don't…hurt…m-me," Bella whimpered, tears starting to fall down her face. Edward looked at her concerned; he hadn't hurt her had he?

"Bella, I won't ever hurt you. I promise. Now please tell me what's wrong."

Bella looked up at Edward and saw that he was telling her the truth. He wasn't going to hurt her. Then Bella realised that she had just freaked out in front of Edward, he was practically a stranger and she had shown weakness.

"Bella?" Edward questioned again, "What happened to you?"

She decided to take a risk. Edward had already seen her freak out, she may as well explain to him why. Get if over and done with so he could pity her and leave her. "R-Raped," Bella whispered.

"Oh Bella," Edward said and wrapped his arms around her pulling her into his body. He slowly rocked them back and forth and whispered comforting words in an attempt to calm Bella.

"Is that why you…?" he said trailing off and softly rubbing her left wrist. Bella nodded and pushed herself closer to him. For the first time she felt safe in a man's touch.

"I won't hurt you okay? Let me help you," he whispered.

Bella managed to whimper a small "Okay", before a nurse came out to get them for lunch.

"Bella isn't feeling too good today, I think I'll just take her back to her room to rest. Is that okay?" Edward asked the nurse, the nurse obviously dazzled by Edward smiled and nodded saying that she will cancel Bella's schedule for today. Edward thanked the nurse and picked Bella up taking her to her room.

Edward placed Bella on her bed and tucked her in. He put the do not disturb sign on her door before he closed it. He sat down next to her and pushed the hair out of her face. Bella smiled softly back up at him and mumbled a thank you.

"You're welcome. I have to go to lunch because they won't let me stay here but I'll come and see you after my session, okay?"

Bella nodded and sat up a little; she lifted her hand up to his cheek and pulled his face close to hers and kissed his lips softly. Edward pulled back and smiled, "I'll definitely come back later."

Bella giggled as he got up to leave, before closing the door Edward winked making her blush. For once things seemed to be looking good for Bella but in Bella's world just as life got better for her there was always something waiting to pull her right back where she started.


	3. Chapter 3

**So I'm not gonna focus too much on them being in rehab cos their relationship doesn't start until after they both leave so it will be pointless to write every single moment in rehab and the story is centred around them out of rehab so yeah. They've known each other for about a month now if anyone was wondering…**

**Disclaimer: don't own twilight **

**Chapter 3**

_**No POV**_

Three weeks after Bella and Edward's first conversation, the two had made a deal. They were both trying to get out of the clinic and to do just that they both had to lie. And they were very good at it. Edward to his surprise had fooled everyone, even his father that he was better and Bella, well she had them fooled from the moment she got there.

Today was the day the Bella could finally go home, Edward had already left two days ago. So Bella was waiting for Alice to pick her up and take her home. She was nervous, if someone could see right through her lies it would be Alice. She knew that Alice wouldn't be easily fooled into thinking Bella was better. She had been cutting for years; a month in rehab was clearly not enough time for the habit to stop.

Bella was brought out of her thoughts when Alice walked in and sat down beside her. She looked at Bella for a moment with searching eyes, trying to find some kind of sign that she shouldn't be taking Bella home. But Bella had the lie perfected and showed no sign that still needed to be here.

"Can you please take me home now?" Bella asked with a smile.

Alice smiled back and stood up, Bella followed and they both walked out of the clinic. When they were outside Bella took a deep breath and sighed, she was finally out of the prison.

The drive back to Bella's was unusually quiet. Normally Alice would be talking non stop and filling her in on what she missed but she stayed silent and staring straight. Bella was getting a little worried about Alice's behaviour. Maybe something had happened.

"Alice?" Bella whispered, she didn't know why but whispering seemed appropriate.

"Mm? came Alice's reply.

"Are you okay?" Bella asked.

Alice sighed and finally glanced at Bella. Bella winced when she saw the look in Alice's eyes, doubt. "Are_ you_ Bella?" Alice said emphasizing the you.

"Are you really better or is this all an act?" she continued.

"Of course I am Alice," Bella said with a smile, "They let me out after all," she added.

"They shouldn't have," Alice spat back angrily. Bella closed her eyes to calm herself. Getting angry with Alice would only prove that Alice was right and land her back where she started. Taking a deep breath and making sure her anger was in check Bella opened her eyes.

"Alice," Bella said softly, "I'm better. I won't do it anymore."

"Promise?" Alice whispered.

"What?"

Alice sighed and parked her car in front of Bella's house and turned to face her. "You're words mean nothing to me unless you promise me that you're telling me the truth this time."

_**BPOV**_

I sighed, promises were easy to make but hard to keep. Especially this promise since it was all a lie anyway. Could I dig myself a deeper hole?! Alice was looking at me expectantly and I knew if I took any longer then it would be obvious I was lying.

"I promise, Alice," I said so convincingly I almost believed it myself. Alice seemed to think I sounded sincere enough because she smiled and leaned over to hug me. Dodge that bullet, now I just had to make sure she never found out I was lying.

Alice pulled back abruptly and looked at the clock I looked at her confused. If she had a date with that pansy ass dick head on the day I came out of rehab I was going to be furious. She told me we would spend the day catching up.

"Shit, I have to go. I'm so sorry, Bella."

I glared at her she had a fucking date! She was ditching me… again. "Hot date with Jasper?" I spat out angrily.

"No actually, with my brother."

"Um… What?" I said confused, Alice always said she was an only child. "You don't have a brother," I pointed out.

"Yes, I do," she whispered almost sounding ashamed.

"Since when?"

"All my life. He's my older brother."

To say I was shocked was an understatement, how do you just forget to tell your best friend that you have a brother. She knew I had one but he was way older than me and married with kids. I'd been to her house and there was never anyone else there besides her parents.

"And I don't know this why?"

"Because it's hard to bring him up in conversations…"

"Not really, you just say 'I have an older brother'," I interrupted her. She sighed and looked at me with pain in her eyes, the kind of look she always gave me when she would see fresh cuts on my arms.

"It hurts to talk about someone who tried to commit suicide," she whispered looking down at her hands.

"What's his name?"

"Edward," she said looking back up at me with tears in her eyes. _Shit _I thought. Edward Cullen was Alice's brother. He tried to kill himself, that's why he was in rehab. I felt a stab in my heart, the beautiful man who had been my friend with benefits for the past three weeks tried to kill himself.

The cutting I could deal with but this, this was different. He wanted to die. What had happened to him to make him want to do this? I noticed that Alice was looking at me with concern at my sudden change in demeanour.

"I-I have to go," I mumbled opening the door to get out but was stopped my Alice's hand on my own.

"Bella, are you okay?" she asked the pain still in her eyes but this time directed at me.

I forced a smile, "Yeah, just tired."

Luckily she bought the lie and nodded. "I better go, he's probably waiting for me. I'll call you later?"

"Sure," I said and jumped out of the car. I walked slowly to my house knowing that Alice would be watching me until I was inside. It was exactly what she use to do while I was cutting, like she making sure I didn't go anywhere to off myself. Now I finally understood all her protective and annoying persistent behaviour to keep me safe. She was trying to keep me alive.

_**No POV**_

Later that night Bella sat in her room in complete darkness and silence. Charlie was working the late shift so the whole house was quiet. She didn't know how long she had been sitting there alone with her razor twirling through her fingers.

The urge at left her hours ago but still she had the razor in her hands, lost deep in her thoughts. A small thump broke her out of her trance and she looked towards her window. Normally she'd be scared at getting caught since the window seemed to be Rosalie's choice of arrival, mainly to catch Bella off guard. But when she saw a familiar pair of green eyes lit up by the moonlight she relaxed.

"What are you doing here?" she asked shocked.

"Thought you'd want some company… and my sister ditched me," Edward said walking over to her bed and sitting down.

Bella looked at him confused, "How do you know where I live?"

"I told you already, I have connections," he replied with a smirk. Bella rolled her eyes and moved closer to him.

"So Alice ditched you? Let me guess… Jasper?"

Edward looked at her confused and nodded, "Yeah, How did you know?"

"It's happened to me… a lot." Bella stated nonchalantly and giggled at Edward's confused face. "She's my best friend," she added.

"Oh, that makes sense," Edward replied with smile that turned into a frown when he saw what Bella was holding. "Were you about to cut?" he asked.

Stunned by his bluntness, Bella pushed herself back up the bed and looked at him fearfully but then she remembered her conversation with Alice and her fear turned into anger.

"You tried to kill yourself!" she accused him.

Edward's face paled at her statement and closed his eyes. He wanted to avoid why he was in rehab with Bella but he knew that would never happen. "Yes," he whispered.

"Why?" Bella chocked out, tears starting to form in her eyes.

"It's complicated," Edward sighed.

"I'm sure I can keep up."

Edward looked at her with pain in his eyes, "I don't want to talk about this with you right now."

"Well when is a good time for you Edward?" she asked sarcasm laced in her voice.

"Bella, please not right now. I promise another time. I came here to ask you something."

"Fine what is it?"

Edward took a deep breath and smiled slightly, "Be my girlfriend," he more stated then questioned.

"That sounded more like an order than a question," Bella said with a smile.

"Well it is an order. Be my girlfriend or else."

Bella laughed and moved so she was sitting in his lap wrapping her arms around his neck. "An ultimatum? Not a very wise move with a cutter," Bella teased.

"You might light this one. Be my girlfriend or I'll have to force you. Either way you're gonna be my girlfriend whether you like it or not," He stated cheekily.

"What if I don't like it?"

"I have a few ways to change your mind," he mumbled against her lips.

"Change my mind then," Bella said seductively.

Edward chuckled and closed them gap between them and laid her back on the bed, the razor that was once in Bella's hand lay forgotten on the floor… for now.


	4. Chapter 4

**Sorry it's been a while but I've been super busy co-writing 'Beautiful Strangers' and starting the sequel 'Here We Go Again', I've had no time for my own story. I've also had major writers block for this one… I know where this story is going and I know how it ends, its just the little parts in between that I have no idea about….**

**Anyway on with the chapter…**

**Disclaimer: Don't own twilight… obviously**

**Chapter 3**

_**BPOV**_

It was morning… well at least I think it was morning. I was only going off the annoying bright light that was currently lightening my room. I groaned softly and opened my eyes; yep it was definitely morning and my window was wide open and the curtain still pushed back. It looked like one of the very rare sunny days in Forks.

I didn't like the sunny days that much, the people in this town acted like idiots whenever there was good weather. That was probably the most annoying thing about a sunny day; EVERYONE was out and I mean absolutely everyone. Forks suddenly became an overcrowded, extremely green and moist space.

Too lost in my thoughts I didn't even notice the person; whose head had been resting on my chest, roll on to their back and pull me along with them. I was now lying completely on top of Edward Cullen who was looking up at me with a stupid grin on his face.

"Morning," he said, his voice husky from sleep.

"Morning," I mumbled back.

I went to put my head on his chest but before I could he flipped us over and was hovering above me. I looked up at him confused but he still had that stupid grin on his face.

"What?" I said a little irritated.

"Let's go out," Edward said happily.

"No!" I said immediately. The grin on Edward's face suddenly left and he looked down at me with hurt and confusion in his eyes.

"Why not?"

"Because it's sunny," I said as if it was the most obvious reason to not go out. Edward chuckled and kissed my lips softly.

"A perfect reason to go out I'd say. Wouldn't you?" he mused.

God why was this boy so damn chipper this morning. I looked over at my alarm clock that read 7:00 and groaned. "No, it's too early for anything," I said as I grabbed my pillow and put it over my face. Edward chuckled again and tried to pull it away.

"And why are you so god damn happy today?" I mumbled.

Edward stopped trying to tear the pillow away from my firm grip and got off me. I felt him get off the bed so I curiously moved the pillow. Edward was standing at my window looking out at the rare Forks day.

"What's wrong?" I asked sitting up.

"I have you," he said without looking at me. I looked at him confused and opened my mouth to say something but he beat me to it.

"That's why I'm 'so god damn happy'."

He slowly turned away from the window and looked back at me, a small smile forming on his lips. I was still a little confused but smiled back at him. Why would he be so happy to have me? I was messed up and broken. I could never escape my past and it haunted me everyday, I had the scars to prove just how broken I was. How could this beautiful man want someone like me?

I was brought out of my thoughts when Edward sat down next to me and put his hand on my cheek. He slowly pulled my face closer to his and let his lips ghost over mine. I shivered in pleasure and his other hand ran down my side and rested on my hip, his fingers finding my skin and started drawing lazy patterns.

Not happy with the light kisses I grabbed his hair and forced my mouth onto his and groaned. All too soon he pulled back and rested his forehead against mine. "Please can I take you out?" he murmured in a way that was just too hard to say no too.

I sighed and pulled away from him. A small smile was playing at his lips as he looked at me with pleading eyes. "Please? I want to show you off," he said with a cheeky smile.

I raised an eyebrow and shook my head in slight amusement. "Trying to convince me by drawing attention to me? Know your audience," I mused.

He chuckled and leaned in to kiss me softly again. "Please?" he mumbled against my lips.

I sighed and pushed him away slightly. "Okay," I mumbled back.

He smiled widely and jumped up off my bed and ran to the door but then stopped.

"What are you doing?" I questioned amused.

He turned around and looked at me confused. "Which way is safer? The front door or the window?"

It took me a few seconds before I actually understood what he was saying. My dad was home and he didn't want to get caught sneaking out of the house, especially since no one knew yet that we were together or that he wouldn't be allowed to stay the night if my dad knew.

"Probably the window," I said quietly, I almost forgot about my dad. He was starting his shift late today which meant he would still be sleeping and he wasn't a very heavy sleeper during the day.

Edward nodded and walked back over to the window. "What are you doing?" I questioned again, this time I was a little confused.

"I'm going home to get ready for our day out. I'll be back in an hour," he said before climbing out my window and down the tree.

_**No POV**_

Bella was pacing in her room. Edward had left 45 minutes ago, so slowly she got ready dreading the day ahead of her. She wasn't exactly dreading the whole being with Edward part, that was the only good thing about the day. She was dreading going outside with all the crazed towns people trying to soak up the rare sun rays.

Fifteen minutes later and right on time Edward pulled up outside the Swans house and ran around the outside of the house to the side of Bella's bedroom. He picked up a rock and threw it at the window. Seconds later Bella appear and looked down at him.

"What are you doing?" she hissed down at him.

"Picking you up, now jump!"

"What!! No!"

Edward chuckled and smiled back up at Bella, holding his arms out in front of him. "Come on, I'll catch you."

"Are you crazy!?" she exclaimed.

"Just a little, now jump! I promise I'll catch you."

"Why can't I go out the front door?"

"Where's the adventure in that?" he said with a smirk.

Bella groaned and climbed out of her window and sat on the edge. This had to be the stupidest thing she had ever done, especially since it made more sense for her to out the front door to avoid waking Charlie. Jumping out her own window was more likely to wake him up then walking out the front door.

"You better catch me," she said before pushing off the window sill and landing straight in Edward's arms.

"See, I told you I'd catch you and you can open your eyes now," he said with a chuckle.

Bella slowly opened her eyes and looked up at Edward; who was smiling back down at her. He leaned forward and kissed her lips softly. "Let's go," he whispered against her lips before placing her on her feet and leading her to his car.

It was comfortably quiet in the car as Edward drove them through Forks. However instead of driving out of town he turned and started heading towards the forest. "Edward, where are we going?" Bella asked a little confused.

"You'll see," Edward replied.

After another 10 minutes of driving, Edward pulled the car on to the side of the road and got out and ran to Bella's side to open the door.

"Where are we?" Bella asked grabbing Edward's hand and stepping out of the car.

"My favourite place," Edward said simply and pulled her into the trees, a fair way from the hiking path she noticed.

They walked through the forest for what seemed like hours but had only been twenty minutes. They walked in a comfortable silence until they reach a clearing. A very large and secluded clearing that was a good three miles away from any of the hiking tracks.

_**BPOV**_

When Edward and I had finally stopped walking I looked around at the beautiful meadow in front of me and was astounded. How had he found a place like this? It was like nothing I'd ever seen before. "Wow," I said softly.

Edward let go of my hand and walked out into the middle of the meadow. I slowly followed him; still in awe about the place in front of me, and the fact that Edward wanted to share 'his' place with me.

"This place is amazing," I whispered to myself.

"I thought so too. This is where I use to come before I was admitted into hospital. Before I tried to…" he trailed off.

I winced slightly at the mention of what he tried to do. I still couldn't believe that he had tried to kill himself.

"This was my place to escape; no one knows this place even exists. I found it one day after my dad had really pissed me off. I would come up here for hours and just think," he continued.

I moved closer to him and grabbed his hand and laced our fingers together. He looked down and me and smiled before he fell down to the ground and pulling me with him. He landed on his back with a thump with me landing right on top of him.

"Are you okay?" I asked concerned.

He just chuckled and wrapped his arms around me, "I'm fine, the grass here is unusually soft. It cushioned our fall," he said rolling on to his side.

We lay next to each other on our sides, Edward's hand resting on my hip and mine resting on his chest. "What did he do to you to make you try to kill yourself?" I asked softly. It was about time I knew the reason why I had met him in the first place.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. The hand on my hip pulled me closer to him and rested on the small of my back.

"He tried to force me into becoming a doctor. He would monitor my school work and punish me if I ever got lower than an A+. It felt like I lived in a prison, I didn't want to be a doctor. I wanted to be a musician but he always thought it was a waste of time. One day it just got too much and I couldn't stand it anymore so I locked myself in my room with a knife and…"

"Stop!" I said before he could say anymore. I really didn't want to picture him hurting himself and we had agreed that we wouldn't talk about either of us hurting ourselves.

"Sorry," he mumbled.

We lay in silence; my mind was going crazy with this new information. Doctor Cullen always seemed nice and like he cared for Edward, I couldn't picture Edward's dad being that hard on him. I was pulled out of my thoughts when Edward's hand left my back and caressed my cheek.

"Bella?" he murmured.

"Hmm?"

"I.. I.." he started to say but stopped.

"What is it?" I asked him softly.

"Nothing, it's stupid," he answered burying his face into my neck.

"Edward," I whined. "Tell me!"

He sighed and pulled back and looked into my eyes. Taking a deep breath he leaned his forehead against mine and grabbed on to my hips again. "I think… I think I'm falling in love with you," he mumbled.

To say I was shocked was an understatement, I was far beyond shocked. He was falling in love with me? I knew I was in love with him but I never thought he would feel the same way.

"Bella?" he said cautiously.

"Why?" I whispered.

He chuckled and pulled me so I was flush against his body. "Because you're you," he said before his lips crashed against mine.

_**No POV**_

"Bella" Edward breathed stopping their passionate kisses.

"What?" she said clearly irritated by his interruption.

"How far?" he needed to know before he took anything further.

"All the way, Edward."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. I want you. I need you."

He didn't need to be told twice. He pulled back and looked into her eyes. All he saw was pure love and lust which made him growl and become even more aroused. He pulled her jacket off and lifted her shirt over her head. He moaned at seeing her body for the first time. She was absolutely gorgeous, every part of her; scars and all. She had curves in all the right places and since living in Forks meant little sun light, her skin was beautifully pale. He slipped his hand behind her back and unclasped her bra throwing it to the side.

"You are so beautiful" he told her as he kissed his way down her chest.

Bella moaned as Edward's mouth came in contact with her bare breast. It was like nothing she had ever felt before. But she thought Edward had too many clothes on and she wanted so badly to get her hands on his famous abs.

"Edward you have way too much clothing on" she breathed out. Edward chuckled against her chest and pulled back a bit so she could slide his jacket off and pull his shirt over his head. As soon as she had done just that he went back to his previous task. Bella moaned as Edward nipped at her breast and racked her fingers down his chest which elicited a moan from Edward.

"Ohh Bella."

"Mm Edward."

Edward smirked and ran his hand down her body. When he got to her jeans he slowly unbuttoned and unzipped them and pulled them down which she then kicked off. She was now just left in her panties. Bella then started sucking on Edward's neck.

"Fuck Bella…. Ohh."

Bella then pulled back to look at her handy work. She ran her finger over her mark and smiled up at Edward.

"Now everyone will know your mine."

Edward chuckled and kissed her softly. "You marked me?"

"Mhmm."

"Fuck that's so sexy. Since everyone will know I'm yours then they should know your mine don't you think?"

Bella just nodded as Edward lowered his lips to her neck and started sucking on her skin making his own mark.

"Mine" he muttered against her neck as he continued to kiss up to her jaw line.

"Edward no more stalling. I need you right now."

He growled at her words. She knew he was giving her time to back out but she wasn't taking it. This was actually going to happen. Isabella Swan was giving herself to him. He felt her hands unbutton his jeans and push them down his legs. He helped by kicking them off. Then he felt her tug on the waistband off his boxers. She hesitated a moment before she pushed them down as well. Edward hooked his fingers into her panties and pulled them down her legs.

Bella's eyes rolled to the back of her head as his fingers brushed against lips once more before his lips suddenly became attached to her neck, sucking on the soft skin below her ear. Arching her back against his touch, Bella dug her fingers through his hair, grabbing it tightly in her own fingers as she felt his slim fingers brush against her tauntingly, before moving back up her body at a tantalizingly slow pace.

"Edward…please" she moaned as his lips continued to trail her body, small kisses gracing her skin as he trailed his lips along her curves, following the natural contours of her breasts. Running her fingers along his chest, she let her nails scrap along his collarbone before running them down further, brushing over one nipple as she continued to run her fingers as far down as his happy trail. Brushing her fingers over the hair that started from just above his navel, she followed it all the way to the base of his belt line before removing her fingers.

Using both hands, she followed the V shape his pelvic bone made from his hips to the tip of his manhood. "You're so hot" she heard herself breath out before she could stop herself. Edward chuckled before bringing his hands from her chest and placing them near her head once more.

As their lips mingled, Bella readied herself with her arms resting on his shoulders as he manoeuvred his body over hers. "Ready" she whispered as he glanced up, his eyes at their darkest.

Edward remained mute and focused on his task, slowly pushing just his tip into the opening of her body. Groaning into Edward's mouth as he pulled out, Bella wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him as close as she could go.

He looked into her eyes again silently asking if she was ready and she nodded. He slowly pushed his length into her warm wet opening. He heard her wince and immediately tense up.

"Baby relax. The pain will be over soon I promise."

Bella just nodded and started to relax. Edward moved a little further and felt her barrier with one small push he broke through it. Tears started to fall from Bella's eyes and Edward leaned down and kissed away every one of them. He stayed still waiting for Bella to get use to him and for the pain to subside.

After a moment Bella's eyes flew open, her head rolled back and a moaned escaped her lips. She started to move her hips and Edward took that as a sign to start moving again. He started slow creating an even rhythm until it wasn't enough for Bella.

"More" she gasped as he suddenly pushed himself back into her, harder than he had before. Bella felt her body react to his as he picked up his pace, his body thrusting into hers with a heated passion.

Bella pulled his head down to hers, sealing their lips together as Edward continued to pound into her. Pulling away, Edward gasped huskily, "Move with me Bella" Bella nodded, her hips seeming to react to his request as they bucked up towards his, the sharp bones clashing against each other.

As Bella continued to meet Edward's thrusts, her hands fell to the grass beneath her as her hands clenched the grass into fists as Edward started to increase his intensity. Bella bucked violently as Edward's lips attacked her skin, leaving sultry red marks along her neck as their love making continued.

Bringing her legs to his waist, Bella twisted them together and bit back a gasp as Edward went deeper into her body. Unclenching her fists, Bella placed her hands on his back; her nails digging in to his warm skin as Edward's full length entered her body.

"Almost there baby" Edward breathed against her ear, sweat running in tiny ringlets across his forehead. Bella just dug her nails deeper into his flesh, all coherent thoughts flying from her brain.

Bella felt herself climax, knowing she couldn't hold on much longer. "I can't wait any longer Edward" she gasped as Edward grunted as she met his thrust. Feeling his body shutter against hers, Bella couldn't hold on any longer and felt her body release itself as Edward continued to pound his full length into her.

A few seconds later, Bella felt Edward's body become rigid before his seed filled her. Resting his forehead against hers, Edward closed his eyes and breathed in deep calming breaths. Untangling her legs from his waist, Bella closed her own eyes and waited for her boyfriend to roll off of her.

Feeling Edward's lips against her own, Bella pressed back against him, her tongue filling the warm wetness of his mouth. Rolling onto his back next to her, Edward opened his eyes and glanced over at Bella.

Pushing her hair away from her sweaty face, Edward smiled at Bella, as her eyes met his, a bright twinkle occupying the usually dark coloured orbs. "No one has ever made me feel the way you make me feel Edward" she whispered as she closed her eyes when he brushed his fingers against her warm forehead.

Rolling over and propping himself onto his elbow, Edward smiled at her, his lips pursed tightly together. Bella reached up and lowered his head to hers, their lips meeting in one more sultry kiss before lying back down next to her and pulling her closer to his body.

"I can't believe we just had sex out here," Edward whispered into her ear.

Bella just giggled and tighten her grip on him, "Don't get use to it."


End file.
